You have been friends with this person for a long time, but now you suddenly realized that you want more. Is it worth taking risks and sacrificing strong friendship for the chance of romantic relationships? Lawyer Wendy Patrick believes that first you need to evaluate the possible consequences. Her arguments were commented by psychologist Andrei Gusev.
Stories like in a movie, like “when Harry met Sally,” happen in real life. They were friends for many years, until they suddenly found themselves in the same bed, announced their engagement, got married. It’s good if the passion is mutual. Trust friendly relations can be a strong basis for a romantic story.
But if the surviving feelings are unrequited? The desire of something more can destroy the strongest friendship. Is it worth finding out the chances of reciprocity? How to carefully “probe the soil”?
It is necessary to take into account the possible consequences if a friend does not reciprocate or your love story will not be as successful as friendly.
You work together
Colleagues can get into an awkward situation, if the relationship does not develop, you will have to see work every day. In addition, the whole team will probably know about your relationship. Someone will not miss the opportunity to discuss how you tried to mix business and pleasure. You are ready to become a topic for conversations near the cooler or at dinner?
You live in the neighborhood
Many relationships arise “on a geographical basis”, we are attracted to everything familiar. We trust people with whom we often communicate. But the awkwardness between former partners will negatively affect not only the lovers themselves, but also on the rest of the neighbors. There will be questions like “which of the failed couple to invite to a party or picnic?»What could be worse than observing how a former partner gives new candidates for his heart?
Romantic projections and self -filled prophecies
If one of the friends feels an attraction to another and shows sympathy, the second after a while often begins to experience similar feelings. As a result, relationships can transform into romantic. But the pattern works only if both people initially considered each other sexually attractive.
Former friends do not suit each other outwardly
There are very beautiful couples in which each of the partners externally complements the other. But not everyone looks like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, and they are no longer together. Some unions seem to be inharmonic and are surprising: “What he found in it?”Or” How could she fall in love with this?”
. Often such relationships began with friendship.
People tend to choose partners who are somewhat similar to them: according to external data, some character traits or manner of behavior. Couples who have love at first sight, outwardly, are usually more “suitable” to each other. Those who have been familiar for a long time, over time, fell in love with some unique features, not related to physical beauty.
Friends forever?
Whether to try to build a romantic relationship with a long -standing friend is a personal choice, which you should seriously think about to evaluate possible adverse circumstances. If the love union does not work out, the chances of reviving the former friendship are minimal.
“Who does not risk, he does not drink champagne at his own wedding”
“More recently, the value of love was so high that few people bother to calculate the risks,” the psychologist Andrei Gusev thinks. – But times are changing. The risks of which the author of the article writes about are forced to think: is it definitely about love?
Usually few people manage to avoid the phase of romantic love when “blows the roof” even with the most old friends. Actually, they understand that feelings have changed. Awakening in one bed after a corporate party to the symptoms of suddenly awakened love has almost nothing to do with. If you are still set to approach the issue from a pragmatic point of view, here is the useful information that you really should focus on. Not so long ago, psychologists identified four factors that make a family a strong. In the first place is a common worldview, in the second – the same gastronomic tastes, on the third – sex, on the fourth – the desire to touch each other.
It is not surprising that people of the same profession often develop the strongest relationship. As an example, several successful unions of doctors and lawyers come to mind, who remarkably complement each other not only in the family, but also in the joint business.
By the way, proper prudence helps not to devote to colleagues especially your relationship before you yourself figure it out. And with the problem of “which of the former partners to invite to the picnic” adult neighbors may well cope on their own.
Moreover, recently, some companies have begun to encourage novels between employees, as this has positively affects their labor productivity.
So do not forget: who does not risk, he does not drink champagne at his own wedding!
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